Anam Ćara

“What! You too?”

Anam Ćara, in Gaelic, means soul friend.

John O’Donohue, in his magnificent book titled Anam Ćara—A Book of Celtic Wisdom, says “The anam ćara was a person in whom you could reveal the hidden intimacies of your life. This friendship was an act of recognition and belonging. When you had an anam ćara, your friendship cut across all convention and category. You were joined in an ancient and eternal way with the friend of your soul.”

When my dear brother, Bob Scott, learned that there was no treatment for cure for his appendiceal cancer, I gave Bob a copy of O’Donohue’s book. That book resonated with Bob. I don’t know how many copies he gave away, but it was a lot.

One day Bob said to me—“You are my anam ćara.” That changed things between us. We already knew we loved one another, that we trusted one another, that we did not fear judgment from one another. Bob putting a name on our relationship gave us permission to freely cross all convention and category with each other. What an incredible blessing that was and is.

Anam ćara is not an exclusive relationship but it does require a desire for greater love in our lives, not only for ourselves but for others. It also involves a willingness to go where you haven’t gone before.

 “Friendship ... is born at the moment when one man says to another "What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . .” ― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves.