Blindsided

A dark place.

It’s hard for me to remember what I expected the first time I went into prison. I was prepared because I had received good, advance training from experienced volunteers. I knew what we were going to do each day we were in prison.

But we were going to be there for three and a half days and what in the world were we going to talk about. I wasn’t (and still am not) a sports guy. I didn’t know (and still don’t) the names of most of the players on the Spurs or on the Cowboys. Knowing the name of the real tall guy on the Spurs or Roger Staubach doesn’t get one very far in talking about sports.

Preconceived notions and fear dissipated early during that first retreat. Our time together turned out to be a rich time, full of camaraderie, personal sharing and fun. I had stepped into a world totally strange to me—a world in which, to my surprise, I felt comfortable.

I initially saw myself as a fortunate person going into a dark place to help unfortunate people. I went to pour out love. What I didn’t see at the time was that they had something vital to give me.

 What did I experience that grabbed me? First of all, authenticity. No one tried to impress me.  How refreshing! Another was empathy—initially for the men I got to know at the retreat but as I continued to go into prison, empathy that deepened and flowed out to all those imprisoned and to their families.

 As I continued to go in, I saw firsthand the virtue of perseverance—men who had been in prison for many years and faced additional long imprisonment who didn’t give up but who persevered with grace. One of my brothers got a four-year setoff, that is, his request for parole was denied and he was precluded from reapplying for parole for four years. He was not given any reasons by Texas Department of Criminal Justice. After the initial shock wore off, he resumed being a man of grace and a leader in the faith dorm in Torres.

I got to know men who comfortably shared what they had with fellow inmates.

 Not only my faith but also my hope was bolstered by being with men who daily lived their hard-earned faith. Another of my brothers was released from prison two years ago. He dedicates his free time to ministering to men and women with capital life sentences

 I received through my dear brothers the gifts of passion and energy to work for justice. I am a happier, more fulfilled man!