Bobby

Tough love.

I’ve already introduced you to Bobby in the post titled “Ruy Lopez”.  He’s the chess player who taught me about “misunderestimating”. Bobby was my first man in white* brother released to live in San Antonio. 

Bobby was a devote Christian.  He was also an SO—a sex offender. He told me about his criminal offense without justifying or explaining his behavior. 

Sex offenders are a pariah in prison. The same is true in the outside world.

San Antonio has the most extensive restrictions limiting where sex offenders can live or go of any major city in Texas. If you are interested, information is readily available on Google.

I found Bobby a halfway house, helped him with his deposit and initial month’s rent. I visited him on Sundays, taking breakfast tacos to him and men who lived in the halfway house. Through friends, I got him a guitar, laptop computer, bicycyle. 

Bobby told me that he had a good family until his grandmother died, when the family fell apart. His mother became an alcoholic.  His younger brother and girlfriend had their children taken away by child protective services.  Bobby’s goal was to assume the role of his grandmother. 

Of course, goals/plans often don’t come to fruition.  Bobby’s certainly didn’t. For a time he had a girlfriend at work but that stopped when her parents learned he was an SO. He moved out of the halfway house. My contacts with him became more infrequent. 

I received a phone call from Bobby one evening. He was frightened, living with dangerous people and asked me to get him and his possessions out. I arranged for Bobby to be rescued the next day but he changed his mind. 

 The same sort of thing happened again and again, I sought consultation and learned that my “help” was hurting Bobby. When he asked for help again, I required that he enter a drug program. I set up an entrance interview for Bobby but he didn’t show up at the prescribed time for the interview.

 I told Bobby that he needed to want to get well and, until he was willing to do what he must do for himself, there was nothing more I could or would do for him.

 The last I heard, Bobby is a street person here in San Antonio.