Baker Duncan
Catalyst.
In the early 1990’s, Jack, Baker and I attended a young men’s retreat (why is a different story). Jack and Baker were told they were holding others accountable, but no one was holding them accountable. They said men are comfortable pursuing and uncomfortable being pursued. They said the three of us should meet, pursue each other, and bring our motivations to the light. That group of three grew to seven and now, absent Baker in person, to six.
I asked each of my brothers to write a short piece about Baker that I could use on the blog.
Here go’s:
I was “twisted off” with my boss and another friend sent me to Baker for advice.
Baker: I’ve been thinking about you and I have this question. Has your boss ever asked you to do something that was against your sense of right and wrong?
Me, hesitantly: No
Baker, leaning back in a tall, cane chair, with a laugh: I’m delighted! I’m just delighted! If he hasn’t asked you to do something that violates your sense of right and wrong, you don’t have a problem!
He proceeded to ask more questions, pointing to the reality that I was the problem. Baker was the wrong person to go to, looking for pity.
I first met Baker at a social function before I joined the group. His boyish grin and easygoing and pleasant manner put me at ease despite his imposing height and voice. Once I was in the group I found Baker could also take on the headmaster role and put you on the spot. Conversely, he was hard to pin down and could be tricky when he was the one on the spot. He was incredibly generous and was responsible for one of my sons getting into and finishing college. Baker would come up with statements that were prescient and inspired, as though God were speaking through him and he was simply the passive instrument. Jack would often say, “Listen to what Baker says, not necessarily the why." Baker would say to me that I was "distinguished" but that I needed to "own my distinguishedness." My understanding of what he meant continues to evolve; my failure to understand and embrace what he meant has also cost me.
It was the early 90s and I had been told I needed to move to San Antonio from Dallas. I knew well only one person outside my colleagues at the bank and that person was Jack. I received wonderful counsel from Jack.
One day Jack said I want to introduce you to Baker Duncan. Jack and I walked over to Baker’s office for lunch from my office at 300 Convent. We had barely started on the obligatory cashews and Perrier when Baker started chewing on me, telling me how what I was trying to do would not work. He stayed after me during most of the lunch. When Jack and I were walking back to my office I told Jack, in very direct words, that I never cared to see Baker again. After that Baker and I became acquaintances and then friends…but it took a while.
Baker was the Chairman of the renowned Faith Alive at Christ Episcopal Church in 1971. Elizabeth and I were the transportation chair. Baker and I worked closely together thereafter on various projects—legal, church, and community. In the early 1990s, Baker informed me that I was going to be in a prayer group with him and Jack that met on Wednesday mornings in Jack’s office. Subsequently, he informed me that I was to join him on the inaugural Board of Governors of TMI, not because I had experience with private schools, but to “keep him out of trouble”. Baker’s contributions to TMI, mostly unrecognized, were profound and undergird the success TMI enjoys today. Baker influenced countless people and organizations in far-reaching, lasting ways throughout his life. I never managed to “keep Baker out of trouble”, no matter how hard I tried.
The first time I met Baker face-to- face was at his home in Alamo Heights. The visit was arranged by my friend Jack . The goal of my visit with Baker was to decide if I wanted to move my family and myself from Miami to San Antonio. We were in 2003. I sat in front of him in his living room. Baker had his head down for a few minutes with his eyes closed. He was thinking . I was intimidated by this older man who looked strange to me .Then, Baker asked me if I wanted to move definitely to San Antonio. I had planned to say no. Instead, I said yes. My family and myself moved a few months later and established ourselves in San Antonio. My first encounters with Baker were tense in the beginning through our Prayer Group. However, I learned from Baker that I should listen to the messages during our meetings. There is always a message to receive in conversations. One of the message was that I was stuck in my thinking. I started to listen to him and my brothers in the Prayer Group. It’s when my transformation began. Over the years, I discovered that Baker under his severe posture was a Child of God who loved God, his family and his Brothers in Christ.
“ In a word, what I’m saying is, Grow up. You kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously towards others, the way God lives toward you.” Matthew 5 :48